


you might need to hear this, i need to talk

by orphan_account



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Introspective Bullshit, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Sungjin has a head full of stormclouds and Younghyun tries to help.





	you might need to hear this, i need to talk

**Author's Note:**

> first (and probably only) story, please note this is entirely fiction and likely a result of me projecting, and the themes/values of the story in no way reflect those of the actual people portrayed. i don't really know where i meant for this to go but enjoy nonetheless, my dudes.
> 
> heads up for heavy themes, cursing, overuse of commas, and a shitshowy ending.
> 
> to the tune of:  
> i need to talk - bang yongguk  
> change - sir sly

Finding Sungjin awake and sitting on the living room floor is the last thing Younghyun expects when he rolls out of bed in search of water. It scares him shitless at first—the lights are off, so all his peripheral vision processes in the dark is a hunched figure that seems so very,  _very_ out of place among the silhouettes of furniture. Swallowing the scream that begins climbing up from his belly, Younghyun scrambles to flip on the lights, squinting against the harsh brightness.

 

Sungjin doesn't even flinch.

 

He's slouched against the front of the couch with a half-dead bottle of soju between his knees, his phone lying facedown on the couch's cushions. The coffee table's been pushed aside to make space for his sprawled legs and Younghyun catches sight of two more empty bottles camped out underneath it, which is… oddly relieving. While God only knows how long Sungjin's been out here, at least he's not pitch drunk.

 

He's still dressed in his sleep clothes (black sweats and a white T-shirt that's far too thin and loose in the collar to be decent), arms limp where they lay over his thighs, head hung between his slumped shoulders.

 

Younghyun squints more as his confusion grows, to the point that it starts giving him a headache. He glances at the digital clock on the stove— _3:02 AM,_ it blares at him in damning neon red—then back at Sungjin, who still has yet to move an inch. He isn't fidgeting his fingers like normal and doesn't even look like he's breathing. Worry churns Younghyun's stomach, coiling around his heart like a starved boa constrictor.

 

The angle of the light casts shadows over Sungjin's face and makes it difficult to tell if he's sleeping or not. Welling up his courage, Younghyun dims the lights to bearable and pads across the floor to stand over him, forgetting his thirst for the moment. He nudges his toes into the meat of Sungjin's thigh and clears his throat. "What are you doing, Sungjin?"

 

Finally, a reaction. Sungjin looks up at him, blinking slow. His voice is rough with disuse when he flatly greets, "Hi. Sorry, did I wake you?"

 

"No, but we have recordings later." Younghyun crosses his arms over his chest. "You need to rest."

 

"I'll be okay," Sungjin responds. His usually bright eyes seem vacant, exhausted, almost staring  _through_ Younghyun instead of at him. He looks downright melancholic, sitting there all small and rumpled. It's a painfully familiar and depressing picture that Younghyun's come to hate over the years. He makes up his mind. Something's obviously wrong and it's high time someone takes care of Sungjin instead of the other way around. If that someone has to be Younghyun, then so be it.

 

He determinedly hooks his ankle around the leg of the coffee table and tugs it closer to its original spot, then plops down on it in front of Sungjin, elbows on his knees.

 

Sungjin starts protesting in an instant, scowling halfheartedly and waving his hand like he's trying to shoo away a misbehaving puppy. "No, no, no. Go back to bed. I won't be up mu—"

 

"You shouldn't drink on an empty stomach," Younghyun cuts in, ignoring him. He's adjusted to a somewhat normal sleep schedule now and it's ridiculously late, so he's not particularly in the mood for honorifics and being polite.

 

"Please," Sungjin snorts, and takes a long sip for emphasis, "I can drink all four of you under the table, food doesn't have a thing to do with it."

 

Younghyun purses his lips. He's getting fed up with the back-and-forth bull, but forces himself to stay calm. "Okay, well, do you wanna start drinking something other than your weight in liquor?"

 

Sungjin shakes his head resolutely.

 

"You sure? Because I don't think your liver—"

 

"Younghyun, stop. I'm fine."

 

The way he says it is final, and the deafening silence that follows frustrates Younghyun to no end. Everything is tense, tense, tense.  _Stubborn bastard,_  he can't help thinking to himself.

 

He huffs and runs a hand through his hair. He's tired both physically and mentally, tired of the anxiety eating away at his insides, tired of Sungjin constantly hiding his shit from them despite being told multiple times not to. He switches tactics and slips off the coffee table and onto the floor next to Sungjin. The cold hardwood chills him, but he shrugs off his own discomfort in favor of pressing himself close to Sungjin's side. 

 

Sungjin's eyes meet his and don't stray. Wide and surprised, a little wary, but still so unnervingly sad. Hazy with alcohol and bad thoughts. Younghyun bites his tongue, literally and figuratively, against everything else he could say besides—

 

"You're not. Tell me what's wrong."

 

Sungjin scrutinizes him for a few seconds, brows furrowed, then says, "Couldn't sleep."

 

It's minuscule, but a progress that Younghyun can still work with. He chuckles a little, tries to lighten the mood. "No shit. Why?"

 

He reaches out slowly, the same way he approaches Dowoon's dog when she doesn't initially recognize him, and tries to flatten out the cowlicked mess of Sungjin's hair. It's already so much longer than it was a week ago, but still too short to tangle, which results in the most comical cases of bed head. Little sprigs stick up in every direction and some parts are left fluffier than others. Younghyun likes it, though. It makes him look cute, softer and sweeter, reminiscent of the pictures from his childhood.

 

"Please, Sungjin. Talk to me."

 

Sungjin relaxes then, caving visibly. He pulls his legs to his chest, wraps his arms around them, and reluctantly admits, "Nightmare."

 

_Bingo._

 

Younghyun keeps playing with his hair, keeps his tone low and encouraging. "Thank you. What was it about?"

 

Sungjin lays his cheek on top of his knees. His eyes are glassy, burning holes into Younghyun, voice shrinking as small as he's made himself appear. "Mistakes. All of this just… ending. You guys leaving me again. It's stupid."

 

The blatant fear and self-degredation laced into his words sink in like a punch to Younghyun's gut. He feels winded, sickened.

 

He rubs his thumb across Sungjin's nape, hoping to comfort him, and chides as gently as possible, "It is  _not_ stupid, alright? We're okay and nowhere near disbandment. Even then, none of us would ever leave you." He pauses, then, "You been having a lot of them lately?"

 

"No," Sungjin sighs, shaky. One side of his mouth pulls down into half a frown. "And I know you won't leave, but it still bothers me. Why now, after some of the best concerts of our career? It's like the world can't let me catch a break and be fucking happy." 

 

His eyelids slip shut and Younghyun takes the opportunity to study the flutter of his long lashes, disheartened by the rings of pale purple beneath them. It makes him wonder if Sungjin lied about the frequency of the nightmares and has actually been losing sleep for much longer than he's letting on.

 

That begs the question, why didn't any of them notice? 

 

_Why didn't I notice?_

 

He swallows hard around the guilt that clogs his throat. "Shit happens like that, we just—we have to keep trying our best. It was only a dream. You shouldn't let it get to you so much."

 

Sungjin scoffs, shakes him off, and reaches for the soju again. His eyebrows, ever expressive, shoot up his forehead and his lips downturn after another swig. "Easier said than done, my friend."

 

"Yeah, probably," Younghyun says, burned and relenting slightly, but… "Let's work on it, though, together. Deal?"

 

Sungjin gives him a trademark stare, the invasive and searching one. It lasts just long enough for Younghyun to see him believe it, to see the gratitude and relief, to see the tears well up before Sungjin looks back down at the bottle between his hands. He nods. The label is coming apart beneath his nervous fingers, leaving behind a sticky smear of glue on the green glass. Younghyun's face aches with how wide his smile stretches.

 

They don't say anything else after that, don't need to. Younghyun hooks his arm around Sungjin's neck, Sungjin leans on him and lets himself be held, and they share what's left of the soju in comfortable silence. When the bottle's dry, Younghyun makes him drink at least half a glass of water, then guides them both to the spare mattress kept in the corner of the room for movie nights and whatnot, too drained to bother crawling back to bed. 

 

As they drop off into sleep side by side, Younghyun tethers himself to Sungjin with a hand securely latched around his wrist.

 

 

* * *

 

Younghyun gets woken up again not by a parched tongue, but by the flop of a thick, heavy comforter over his entire body. All his senses jump into sluggish overdrive as adrenaline spikes his blood. Frozen cold and burning up all at once. He peers through bleary, stinging eyes at the figure looming over him, gesturing. His heartbeat pounds against his eardrums like a war song and drowns out whatever the person's saying. He picks out floppy auburn hair, prescription hipster glasses, and pale, skinny arms that end in fingers like spindles—Jae.

 

Younghyun scans the room. It must be a couple hours since they knocked out. The sun is rising outside the large windows of their dorm, painting the sky and everything around in an eerie half-light that makes Jae look larger than life. He tries to sit up and explain the mess and why he's crashed out on the living room mattress, only to be dragged back down by the deadweight attached to his shoulder. Sungjin's curled into his side like a child would be to their parent, his head buried in the crook of his neck. Needles of staticky pain dance up his right arm when Sungjin shifts and grumbles unhappily in his sleep. His hands renew their grip on Younghyun's shirt, his face scrunches up, and—and for a second, Younghyun absolutely dreads the possibility of him waking up all disgruntled and groggy just to yell at him and Jae for being awake at such an ungodly hour.

 

However, that's thankfully not the case today and Sungjin settles as fast as he'd roused. Relief floods Younghyun's chest. He turns back to Jae and musters the most withering glare possible.

 

Jae holds his hands up, palms showing his innocence and a sheepish grin on his lips, whispering, "Sorry. Sleep some more. I already called Jeongguk-hyung, asked him to push the schedule back a few hours." He pats both their heads gently and waddles back to his room with that, short and sweet. Typical Jae. He'll have to find some way to thank him later.

 

Left to his own devices, Younghyun gingerly turns onto his right side without disturbing Sungjin further and wraps his numb arm around him. He takes advantage of this temporary privacy to hug him closer and drink in the sight of him. 

 

Despite seeing him almost every day for the past eight or so years, Younghyun's still stunned by how handsome he is. Sungjin's always handsome. Absurdly shiny eyes, his big, perfect nose, the best smile in the entire fucking universe. His voice is enrapturing and impossible to miss. He always knows what to say to make people listen, to conjure laughter, to educate and rally, to console and inspire. He's dependable, whip-smart, and fiercely loyal. Younghyun doesn't think he would've lasted a week after debut without him.

 

Like this, though, with his responsibilities as leader momentarily forgotten, is when Younghyun thinks he's the most beautiful. No makeup, no flashy clothes, no worries. The tension just  _melts_ out of him. The stress lines in his face soften and smooth, his broad shoulders relax, breaths deep and peaceful. He looks younger, all his vulnerabilities laid out in the open. 

 

Younghyun traces the curve of Sungjin's cheek with his fingertips, watches the dawning light play off his skin and make him appear godlike, stronger than he really tries to be all the time.

 

He chokes up suddenly, plagued by all the  _what ifs_ of the past several hours. What if Sungjin left the dorm instead of staying in? What if Younghyun hadn't woken up? What if he said this instead of that, or toned that one phrase just a little differently? What if one of the other members got there first, showed up during?  _What if, what if, what if—_

 

As if sensing his spiral, Sungjin unconsciously tangles their legs together and mumbles nonsense again, nose wrinkling. It pulls Younghyun from his thoughts and makes him frown. He never used to do that, talking in his sleep.

 

But… that's a problem best tucked away and saved for another time. He opts instead to sigh away his troubles, press his forehead to Sungjin's, and pray that whatever dream he's having now is better than the last. He dozes off to the steady rhythm of Sungjin's exhales fanning warmth across his chin.

 

They'll figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> for context, the "leaving me again" part comes from an interview in which sj said he had a really hard time whenever he and the members were separated predebut. 
> 
> also manager's name is jeongguk bc i heard one of the boys say it in an old old vlive, don't give it too much weight tho.
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
